“Women marry men hoping they’ll change. Men marry women hoping they’ll never change”. This is an adage that is perhaps true in ways more than one. Women hope that men will be more responsible and matured once they get married. Men, on the other hand, would want women to stay as understanding as they are during the dating phase of the relationship.
Women during Their Unmarried Life
During the dating stage of the relationship, there is no doubt that most women play it nice, acting that they are ok with whatever the guy is doing. When you visit his apartment, for instance, you have no problem seeing how cluttered it is. You are alright with him not washing the dishes or not doing his own laundry. When you are still single, you perfectly have no problem with him seeing his guy friends more than the times you see him in a week. You are ok if he has a mediocre J.O.B., which actually stands for Just over Broke. You just do not care because you still live separate lives, and you stay in separate homes.
During the dating stage of the relationship, there is no doubt that most women play it nice.
Women during their Married Life
Once married, lo and behold, women change! All of a sudden, they can become totally different entities from what guys knew during the dating phase of the relationship. This change, however, is for the better as you believe that guys should be more responsible once they already have their families, as against when they are still unmarried. As the wife, you will most probably want to your husband to be submissive to your demands, such as with regards to what time he should be home.
What Men Think
When you play the part of the cool and nice girlfriend who barely cares about how your boyfriend lives, including the job he chooses or the friends he hangs out with, he will surely love you. He might even brag it to his friends and say “I am lucky to have a very understanding girlfriend who lets me hang out with the guys and allow me to live my life the way I want to. She does not nag like many others. Definitely, I will marry her”.
Once married, however, he might end up eating his words. If you demand that your husband should be spending lesser time with the guys or that he should be quitting his low-paying job, he might end up with regrets.
Do not make the mistake of assuming that he will change and that you can make him change.
How to Avoid Disappointment
However you want him to be once you get married, expect him to show it now! As soon as you see that he does not have the characteristics you want from a husband, break up with him. Do not make the mistake of assuming that he will change and that you can make him change. The harsh reality is that he will stay that way even until your married life.
To sum it up, do not change to avoid disappointment in your relationship once you get married. Be the same person he initially loved. If he loved you for what you are from the very start of your relationship, he would love you the same way forever, just do not change.