First You Need To Learn To Live By Yourself


Why You Need To Live By Yourself

At one point in my life, I was reading a post breakup survival guide and found a mantra that I really loved. “Learn how to live with yourself first, before living with someone else.” It basically means that when you are happy living by yourself and feel fulfilled in your life, you can then start a relationship that you will be happy in. You won’t be dating because you need a man in your life or in your home. Most of us are afraid that we will end up spending our entire lives alone if we don’t find that special someone right away.

Susan Elliot, author of “Getting Past Your Breakup”, says that people need to “embrace the silence.” If you have always had someone living with you, then you have no idea of how you should live by yourself. Jack Canfield, author of NY Times Bestseller “Success Principles”, says, “You cannot take a vacation from yourself, you might as well learn to love living with yourself.”

Learn how to live with yourself first, before living with someone else

Living In Fear

Most women will go from one relationship to another, because they are afraid of being alone. They don’t know how to be alone! These women do not think about the men they are dating and they don’t realize how wrong the men are for them.

Living in fear is something that we all do and it always has to do with something that we know nothing about. We are afraid of the dark, because we can’t see. We are afraid of ghosts, because we don’t understand them or see them. In order to break this cycle, we need to experience the things that we are afraid of.


Learn To Live By Yourself

Make sure you understand that I am not saying that you need to move into a house all by yourself and not leave for a year! Everyone needs friends and family and you need to go out and have a good time with them. However, you should try to live without being in a relationship for awhile. You will see how you can enjoy hobbies and activities without worrying about whether your date is going to have fun.

Everyone needs friends and family and you need to go out and have a good time with them.

After you have experienced being happy and single, there may be a man who enters your life and then you can decide if he is worthy of the new you. You will be choosing a man, because you are strong and deciding that he is worth your time. You will not be choosing a man, because you “need” to be with someone. Your decision will then be driven from a position of strength, not a position of weakness.

Every decision that you make in your life needs to be done because it is the right one for you. So make the decision to be strong and learn to live yourself, before trying to couple up.


Make sure you check out these posts:

10 Daily Habits of Happy Single Women

10 signs your life is happy even if it doesn’t “feel” like you are

The Art of being happily single

10 Reasons Being Single is actually good for you

BOOKS mentioned in this post:

Curled Up with a Good Book

“Elliott delivers the goods with a book that can help anyone get past a broken heart, and be stronger for it…The book provides solid, usable information told with compassionate understanding that really jumpstarts a heart that is on standby…The tools are priceless, and the inspiration to come out on top is what really makes this book stand out in the ocean of other self-help titles out there.”
ForeWord This Week, 4/22/09

“If you could read only one book this year, you have it in your hands.”
(Harvey Mackay, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Swim with the Sharks without Being Eaten Alive)

“Great book, great read, great gift for anyone committed to becoming a Master of Life!”
(Michael E. Gerber, author of The E-Myth books)

“I have personally learned a lot from Jack Canfield and I trust you will too.”
(John Gray, Ph.., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

“. . .an illuminating and easy-to-read book. Jack’s teaching is highly effective. . . .”
(Ken Blanchard, author of The One Minute Manager(R) and Customer Mania!(R))

“. . .the best success classic to come along in decades. . . .” (Les Brown, author of Live Your Dreams and Conversations on Success)

“. . .a must-read for everyone who is looking to attain new heights in his or her life.”
(Arielle Ford, author of Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul)


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